During these past couple of weeks, as I continually find myself doing things that I should know better (such as turning on the radio for yet another inevitable Mariners loss), I ask myself: why am I doing this? Why am I submitting myself to such painful, depressing repition and hopelessness? It's summer. I should go outside. Perhaps meet my neighbors. Strill around the neighborhood. Breath in smells and take in sights that have heretofore go unnoticed.

But no, I refuse to do that. Instead I submit myself to the masochism of listening to the Mariners feebly lose baseball games on a nightly basis. Why do I do such a thing? Because I'm a Mariners fan.

I get frustrated, I admit. Sometimes I yell. (Usually something about Hargrove's idiotic line-ups. Seriosuly, Willie Bloomquist leading off?) Sometimes I pound my fists in anger. But then I have to stop and remind myself- isn't losing baseball a storied part of the Mariners tradition? Like a nomad wandering the face of the earth, have I lost touch with my roots, with my home?

I came "of age", so to speak, as a Mariners fan in the late 1980s. I remember line-ups that had such erstwhile ball-players as Jeffrey Leonard, Henry Cotto, and Phil Bradley. To me, Alvin Davis was the original "Mr. Mariner." By the time I began following the team in ernest as I entered my pre-adolescent years living in Olympia, WA, the Seattle Mariners had been around for over a decade and had yet to have a winning season. Not one. By comparison, the New York Mets averaged 105 losses the first seven years of their existence- and then won a World Series. The Mariners' expansion-mates, the Toronto Blue Jays, were a sub-.500 team for only six years before topping the mark in 1983.

So was I excited when the Mariners finally topped the .500 mark in their 15th year of existence, going 83-79 in 1991, making "Lefebvre Believers" out of the Pacific Northwest (until he was fired after the season, that is). Oh, you bet. Finally, I could rejoice. My team was just like every other team- average.

But until then I had all ready follwoed faithfully for a few years of mediocrity. I tuned in every possible chance I could get, not necessarily expecting the Marienrs to win. In fact, as a Marienr fan pre-1991 I'm pretty sure you expected them to not win on any given night, regardless of who was pitching or what team they faced. Sure, the dark days of the marienrs included some promsiisng pitchers like Mark Langston, Mike Morre, and Bill Swift, but combined this trioka went 170-212 for the mariners, good enough for a luaghable .445 winning percentage. Jeffrey Leonard was signed to provide some "power" in the middle of the Marienrs' line-up prior to the 1989 season, and supplied all of 24 home-runs and a .420 slugging percentage.

In short, to be a Mariners fan means you need to embrace losing. Its an instructive lesson to learn growing up. It instills shame.

But then, of course, 1995 happened. It appeared that not only could our team be average, it could be better than average. And not only that, we could beat the most storied team in baseball history- the New York Yankees- in a play-off season! Not only were we good, we had Junior, Randy, A-Rod, Buhner, Edgar as a nucleus! We were going to be good, nee dominating for a long, long time! Right! Right?

Sigh. And I don't want to bring up 2001, but I have to. Whoever thought that our team would win an unprecedented 116 regular season games, come three wins away from going to the World Series for the first time- and still not have a return trip to the play-offs five years later?

So, given the marienrs current struggles, I've had to come to peace with myself. I've had to remind myself that it's an acceptable mind-set to trun on the radio and expect that the marienrs to be out of the game before the first pitch is even thrown. It's nearly comforting. It reminds me of my childhood. Playing catch with my dad in the back yard, drinking root beer floats outside on a warm summer's evening, listening to the Mariners drop yet another one in the dog days of August....

The Mariners dropped last night's game 3-0 to uberstud Jered Weaver and the nomadish Angels of Southern California. It was the M's 500th shut-out of the season. (that's not a correct number, more of an exaggeration.) The highlights of last night's game? Felix Hernandez wasted a steller outing- 8 baserunenrs and three earned runs in six innings to go with six strike-outs- and Beltre hit a ground-rule double in the ninth inning to keep both his hitting streak alive (14 games) as well as his streak of games getting on base (29 straight). Beltre goes to show that a sustained peformance of excellence by an individual player over a period of time does not necessarily translate into success for your team.

The lowlights? Having Wille Bloomquist "lead off", if that's what you want to call it. In the first three at-bats by a lead-off batter not named Ichiro this season, Wille pulled a sombrero, striking out all three times before being lifted for Ichiro, who pinch-hit for Bloomie in the eighth. It is now four game since we've seen Adam Jones- who was facing Jered Weaver in the minors on a regular basis earlier this season- play center field, as hargrove seems more content to have a player with a .246 average and .295 slugging not only man center but lead-off! Oh sure, you say that Jones is only hitting .217, but his slugging percentage- .348- is fifty points higher than Bloomquist's! Andsurely Jones would hit higher if he were to receive, oh I don't know, playing time.

I mean, the Mariners' season is toast. Why not let the kid play and see what he can do? We've had five years of suckitude from Willie Bloomquist- we know what he can do. And me not likey.

The worst is the fact that by leading off, Bloomquist had the misfortune of batting after Chris "Doyle" Snelling, who was making his season debut in the field (taking over RF for Icnhiro) and in the line-up, batting ninth. Well Snelling, an accomplished hitter (.370 last yearin Tacoma) with a history of injuires, calmly went 1-for-3 versus Jered's outstaign stuff, includiong a walk. So twice Snelling got on base, and what happened both times? Bloomquist struck out.

May you rot in hell, Hargrove. You know what this slide reminds me of? The miserable 9-35 ending to the Baltimore Orioles' 2002 season. After being a scant two games from .500 at 58-60 on August 15th, the team ended up nearly 30 games below .500 at the endof the year. Did that cost Hargrove his job? No. He returned the following year, as obviously he had something to prove to Orioles fans. And that something was that he could do it all over again in 2003. Again, roughly same time of the year- August 10th- and same place for the O's: two games from .500 at 57-59. The team proceeds to lose 32 of 46 games to finish at 71-91, admittedly a four-game improvement over the year before. No wonder Orioles fans had an online petition to fire Mike Hargrove.

And this was the man who Bill Bavasi hired to lead the marienrs back into contention after two humdrum years of Bob Melvin managing the club? Did Bavasi simply ignore Hargrove's track record at baltimore, only looking at Hargrove's glory days in Cleveland, where his success was inflated by the awesome team the Indians fielded. (Imagine how many World Series titles the Tribe would've won with a competent mananger.) I suspect Bavasi was looking for the perfect managerial candidate to lead the Mariners to their historical roots of insufferable, losing baseball, and when Hargrove became available, Bavasi had his "Eureka!" moment. On August 9th, the marienrs were one game under .500 at 56-57 after Jarrod Washburn's brilliant performance against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. They have yet to win since.

Looking into tonight's ball-game, I don't expect the Mariners to win. And I've come to terms with that. In fac,t I don't expect them to win for the rest of the season. That way when they do win, it'll be a pleasant surprise, like waking up and finding freshly fallen snow and that school will be canceled. You know, along those lines.

John Lackey is taking the hill for the Angels in tonight's ball-game. And he's been pretty lousy over his last three starts- a 6.84 ERA in 17 innings over three outings, all losses. But so what. He has a losing career record, 5-8 versus the mariners. But so what. Richie Sexson has a .438 career average and 1.375 career slugging versus Lackey, while Raul Ibanez has a .355 career average against him. but so what. Lackey will win.

Jarrod Washburn, ex-Angel, takes the mound against his former team. By comparison, Washburn has been pretty good over his last four starts- allowing a 3.00 ERa over 24 innings and getting a 2-1 record during that span. But so what. This season, he has been unbeatbale in three starts versus the Angels, 2-0 with a 3.38 ERA. So what. He has kept the Angels' bats silent, with Vlad Guerrero & Chone Figgins combining to hit .191 against him. But so what.

The angels will win. 5-4 is my guess at final score. 2006 Mariners, it's been nice knowing ya'....